Tag Archives: talking to myself

How Facebook made me sniff glue. Not really though.

I don’t go to Facebook very often.  Frankly because I get sick of seeing whose child has been recently toilet trained, or who has given who a plant/animal/sexually transmitted disease on those silly games they play.

But today while scrolling through the announcements of impending doom marriages, new engagements, pregnancies, job promotions and bowel movements I came to a rather harsh realization.

It seems while everyone else my age is falling in love, getting married and having babies I’ve been busy having abortions, getting divorced and making plans to go back to University.


Did you hear that?  Yep.  That’s was my emotional train de-railing.  The tinkle part was the shattering of my childhood dreams.

I realise it’s alright to be a wreck sometimes.  That it’s not THE END OF THE WORLD I’m fast approaching 30 and none of my dreams have yet been realized.  Lately, however, I seem to have lost all my strength and every single damn day is a struggle.

In this moment as I sit here wrapped up in my flaws and failings, safe in this uncomfortable but familiar bed I have made for myself I know I have two choices.

I can wish upon a star and just hope things work out for me.  Or I can change my attitude, and change my life.

So if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get out the dustpan and brush, pick up the pieces of my broken dreams and try to put them back together with cloth tape and superglue.  I won’t even sniff the glue.  Promise.

Then I’m going to put one foot in front of the other and keep fighting to make my dreams come true – or die trying.  Hopefully not in a train wreck though, because that would be kind of fucked up.

On a side note, the ‘i’ key has fallen off my keyboard and I’ve lost it.  After thoughtful consideration about writing this post completely without i’s and figuring that would make me look drunk be very hard to read I persevered.  You’re WELCOME.



Congratulations Universe – Today, I hate you.

Today, I am thinking.  Thinking way too much.  Then trying to stop myself from thinking by baking because thinking is getting me nowhere fast.

Today, it feels like over the last year the universe has conspired to take all my hopes and dreams and shatter them into a billion razor sharp pieces.

Today, I remember I have my health, and I count my blessings for that.  I am thankful I have good friends who I know love and support me.  Without them I would truly be alone.

Today, as I type, I cry.  The silent kind, where the tears just seem to keep coming, from some unknown place.  A place perhaps you don’t want to look because it’s just too fucking scary and you don’t know where to start.

Today, I think I know why they call depression “Anger without enthusiasm”.

Today, I give up.

Tomorrow will be another day.

It’s an Awesome Epidemic. Kind of like the plague, only you know, more awesome.

So I say awesome a lot.  So much that my friend bought me a shirt which says “I can’t help it that I’m AWESOME”.  This, I am thinking means two things; that my friend is secretely in love with me, and I say awesome way too much.  Also, I don’t know how to use semi colon’s.  But that’s unrelated.  Awesome.

There are many different ways you can use the word awesome, and it’s versatility is what makes it so popular in my vocabulary.  

I have now infected my neice and nephew, who now proclaim everything to be either “way awesome” or “awesome deluxe”.  Next in their awesome education, we will be moving on to “Awesome Deluxe with Cheese”.

Ps.  I also recently find myself swearing a lot.  Partly because I work on a mine site instead of an office now, where swearing and talking about porn is acceptable behaviour.  Problem is, now I find myself swearing at inappropriate times – like in front of children and old people *sigh*  I can hear my mother coming with the bar of soap now…

Twitter is addictive. It’s like niccotine, but they don’t have patches. Well, not yet.

This has to be one of my favourite tweets so far – brought to me by Featured Tweets  on my new favourite addiction, Twitter – a new (or you know, not so new, I just can’ t keep up) social media site focusing on purely updates (and if you haven’t heard of Twitter, I don’t know, google it or something)

I know right?  Why would someone like Featured Tweets be doing following boring old me? All I am doing is sitting in the corner talking to myself (yeah, you probably weren’t thinking that at all… *sigh*)

I first thought, well, they must be following everyone who joins Twitter – I had just joined, and since none of my friends actually use it, I WAS pretty much twittering to myself!  Okay, there was no pretty much about it.  Here’s a sample…

my 6 year old niece just said to her brother “Stop eating all the apples. They don’t grow on tree’s you know”. I couldn’t talk for 3 mins.

from web

fuck. tree’s isn’t supposed to have an apostophe there is it? My bad grammer is forever immortalised by Twitter *sigh*

from web

and my spelling apparently.

from web


Having quite some fun, as you can see.  It was shortly after I noticed someone was following me.  I was shocked and amazed.  Then, I will admit, a little disappointed when I saw is was Featured Tweets, thinking they must just follow EVERYONE, what’s special about that?  Then I got this message…

Featured Tweets       FeaturedTweets“Thankfully I have no-one following me to notice. Shit. I am talking to myself.” – we noticed :P. have a nice day!

  *sigh* someone is always watching when you fuck up.  I love you Internet!

I blame The Bloggess for my new addiction – it was this post she wrote which made me laugh so hard I snorted.  A lot.  At work.  And yes, people saw.  And just this morning, I noticed she was following me too.  She says she’s not discriminatory – But you know, it still makes me all warm and fuzzy, in that “I just peed in my pants” kind of way.

So, no doubt there will be more Twitter Action to come!  Oh look, a piece of string…

PS.  Twitter – You really SHOULD invent some patches… not only would it be a great marketing tool, but you could send me a whole heap because I am going to NEED them.

PPS.  You can follow me by clicking here.

PPPS. You can follow Featured Tweets, because they are awesome, here.