Tag Archives: Ramblings

The problem of identity. Also: writing this philosophy essay sucks

I am currently working on a philosophy essay plan, which is due Monday.  It’s driving me insane.  Here is the question:

Although the principle that our personal identity is preserved as long as we inhabit the numerically same body is plausible and well established (same body = same person idea), it seems questionable at times.  Consider the situation of Robert.  Robert used to be a very athletic person who spent all of his free time playing basketball and riding motorcycles.  In August 2002 Robert crashed his motorcycle and is now paraplegic.  Although Robert still has the same (numerical) body as before, he feels that he is not the same person since he cannot do the things he loves most. 

Do you agree with Robert? Explain and justify your reasoning to this by: Drawing on the works of at least two philosophers and one film from this course.

The thing is, in some ways I agree with Robert in that he is not the same person… but in other ways I don’t.  I believe it’s called ‘fence sitting’ and is not something I can do in writing this essay.

I will have to start by examining the body theory of identity, which to me is a logical theory, but is not in itself enough to constitute identity.  The fact that the body is constantly changing does not in itself constitute a change of identity (as far as I am concerned) as it is gradual and the cells themselves share a commonality as they grow and are expelled from the body.  We identify others by their physical appearance.  However, if person A had their consciousness transferred into a different body then would we still continue to identify them as the same person?  Intuitively I would think so.

If we look at identity being defined by psychological continuity, or by memory, then post-accident Robert is indeed still the same person as both his thought processes and memories are continuous with pre-accident Robert.  There are of course flaws with these theories also.  For example, if Robert lost all his memories in the accident, and his psychological continuity was eliminated, I would still consider him the same person.

These is also the theory that there is no self, and to think we have one is merely an illusion (Hume), and we are nothing more than a collection of perceptions.  But then what holds us together over time?  What gives our current perceptions context and meaning?  Our memories, perhaps.  Or maybe it’s just the thread that is woven between our perceptions creating an illusion of self.  If it is the case that we HAVE no self then what does this mean for Robert?

I like to think of people as a constantly changing and evolving thing.  Like the river analogy.  While you can’t step into the same water twice (as it’s constantly moving and changing) we would still identify it as the same river.  I think personality has the same fluidity, whether in regard to body, memory or perception.  Our past selves share commonality with our current selves, so while we are constantly changing we still remain identifiable as the same person.

I guess I do disagree with Robert after all.

I think my head just imploded.

Your thoughts and ideas about how I could formulate a reasonable essay plan around this question would be greatly appreciated.  I’ll buy you something pretty.


I’m far less entertaining when I’m mentally stable

I was making myself a coffee this morning, thinking about every single thing I could do which DIDN’T involve working on my essay plan for philosophy and then BAM! I remembered I have a blog.

What better way to avoid being productive than starting an archeological dig to find it under all the layers of dust and spam?

Of course, since it’s been about a billion years since my last post I am sure you have all forgotten who I am, hell, I’VE forgotten who I used to be.  Shall I provide a quick update? Yes?

I think my last couple of posts involved popping my ambulance cherry and sniffing glue.  Strangely those things weren’t related.  Since then it’s been about 10 months and I haven’t blogged because I’ve been busy shaking things up (and I don’t mean just other peoples beer) a quick time line update in dot point form is in order (yes, I’m still lazy):

  • I received an offer for a place at a University in regional Victoria to study psychology – which I accepted!
  • Left work, sold most of my household STUFF, and packed the rest into my car for the long drive to Victoria from Queensland.
  • Since this stuff included my rather large pooch, my guitar and my surfboard there wasn’t much room.
  • Spent a couple of weeks cruising down the coast… surfing, lazing about, and generally acting like a hippie.
  • Arrived in Ballarat and after a month sleeping in a shed and struggling to find somewhere to live I FINALLY hit the jackpot and moved into a place 2 minutes from the Uni (HELLO waking up at 8.20 for an 8.30 lecture!).
  • My pooch fell in love with my landlord’s pooch.
  • I fell in love with my landlord.
  • Learnt I am good at study, after getting 3 high distinctions and a distinction in my first semester.
  • Got a red and black Mohawk.  It’s awesome.

So there you have it, a somewhat brief, incomplete update of the last 10 months.  Something I have learned though – I am FAR less entertaining when I am mentally stable!

I will attempt to post more in the interests of avoiding study, and regale you with tales of my gay dogs, vegetable garden and deep philosophical and psychological discussion.  Or maybe not.
We shall see.

How Facebook made me sniff glue. Not really though.

I don’t go to Facebook very often.  Frankly because I get sick of seeing whose child has been recently toilet trained, or who has given who a plant/animal/sexually transmitted disease on those silly games they play.

But today while scrolling through the announcements of impending doom marriages, new engagements, pregnancies, job promotions and bowel movements I came to a rather harsh realization.

It seems while everyone else my age is falling in love, getting married and having babies I’ve been busy having abortions, getting divorced and making plans to go back to University.


Did you hear that?  Yep.  That’s was my emotional train de-railing.  The tinkle part was the shattering of my childhood dreams.

I realise it’s alright to be a wreck sometimes.  That it’s not THE END OF THE WORLD I’m fast approaching 30 and none of my dreams have yet been realized.  Lately, however, I seem to have lost all my strength and every single damn day is a struggle.

In this moment as I sit here wrapped up in my flaws and failings, safe in this uncomfortable but familiar bed I have made for myself I know I have two choices.

I can wish upon a star and just hope things work out for me.  Or I can change my attitude, and change my life.

So if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get out the dustpan and brush, pick up the pieces of my broken dreams and try to put them back together with cloth tape and superglue.  I won’t even sniff the glue.  Promise.

Then I’m going to put one foot in front of the other and keep fighting to make my dreams come true – or die trying.  Hopefully not in a train wreck though, because that would be kind of fucked up.

On a side note, the ‘i’ key has fallen off my keyboard and I’ve lost it.  After thoughtful consideration about writing this post completely without i’s and figuring that would make me look drunk be very hard to read I persevered.  You’re WELCOME.


On pregnancy and abortion Part 2. Still not funny, but less likely to make you cry.

You know when you leave your blog for some time without updating it… Then you attempt to carry on with it but you just can’t find a logical way to follow on from your last post?

I’m there.  My blog has been sitting, neglected, like a <insert humorous simile here>.

Now I come to update you all on the intricate, wet, raffia-like threads that weave the underwater basket of my life, and I find myself not knowing where to start.

So why not start where I left off? You can find my last post here.  If you’re too lazy to click on that let me sum it up.  I found out I was pregnant, and had just booked in to have the pregnancy terminated.

In the end I did go through with the abortion.  So I am now un-pregnant.  The clinic I went to had wonderful compassionate staff, and my best friend came with me for support.  In quiet reflection on the way home from what was  the most difficult day of my life, I realised I had made the right choice, for ME.  I held onto that thought in the weeks that followed, despite sometimes feeling emotionally unstable, empty and exhausted, having faith that I would heal with time.

I still have my moments where I wonder what it would have been like if I’d continued with the pregnancy, and I know New Years will be a very difficult time for me.  I know I’ll be thinking ‘what if’.  But I will deal with that when the time comes.  Or repress it.  One of those two things.

Thank you all for sharing your views and comments – and most of all thank you to those who showed me nothing but love and support, without judgement.  It’s amazing how kind words from people I’ve never met can really make a difference.  You all rock.

In further news, I’m on the ‘quit smoking’ bandwagon (again), have started an exercise routine, and I’ve applied to two different Universities to study next year.  More on that next time!

Reasons for #FeelingStabby

Those who are reading this who also follow me on Twitter will know about my obsessive use of the #FeelingStabby hashtag.  If you DON’T follow me on Twitter you can fix that by clicking here.  If you don’t have twitter, I suggest you throw yourself off the nearest tall building.  Or you could sign up to Twitter here.  I’m really not fussed either way.

I thought for my return to blog-land I would list a few things that make me feel stabby, and a few that have been brought to my attention by my followers.

Mondays:  I hate Mondays with a passion – They are, in actual fact, the arch nemesis of Feeling Stabby Girl, which is my alter ego and the only time I get to wear my underwear on the outside of my clothing.  Unless I’m drunk.  Or it’s a day ending in Y. 

Spiders: I am not sure this requires any further explanation.  I am jump-out-of-a-moving-car afraid of spiders. 

Slow Internet: When my internet is being an arsehole, this makes me feel incredibly stabby.  I know, my internet is probably just trying to be nice and allow me to make a cup of coffee between page loads but FFS I have my limits!!

When Twitter is broken: Incredibly frustrating when all you want to do is bitch about Twitter being broken ON Twitter and you can’t because Twitter is broken.  Like right now when I have asked my followers their reasons for feeling stabby and I CAN’T SEE MY @Reply’s.  Where did I put my knife?

My new neighbours:  Do you remember my very first ever blog post about my neighbours?  You don’t?  Well go read it HERE.  It’s okay. I’ll wait. Are you done now?  It seems no matter where I move I cannot escape Total Eclipse of the Heart.  Sometimes, the music my new neighbours play makes me want to cut myself, then bleed all over their nice white linen that’s hanging from their clothes line.  I’m really NOT over reacting here.  No-one should have to hear the alphabet song twenty times in a row.  It’s worse than chinese water torture.  Don’t ask me how I know that.  It just is.  Also, their linen isn’t white.  I made that part up.  Sorry.

Quitting smoking:  This is where the #FeelingStabby hashtag originated for me.  When I quit smoking I had random homicidal moments, and vented a lot on twitter.  It’s ok.  I started smoking again, for the benefit of society.  You are welcome.

The fact that someone already has a Feeling Stabby blog on wordpress:  I think this speaks for itself.  NOW I have to be more creative and think of a DIFFERENT domain name.  Thanks.  Thanks a lot. 

Losing my potato peeler:  This may not seem like a big deal, but I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE MY POTATO PEELER WENT!  How do you lose a POTATO PEELER?  I think someone stole it just to drive me slowly insane.  Either that, or I accidentally threw it out last time I peeled the potato’s.  I’m going to go with the theft option though.

Forgetting to buy a potato peeler at the supermarket and instead spending $50 on random items:  I think that is self explanatory right? 

Peanuts that are supposed to be salted but really don’t taste all that salty:  The people who make peanuts like this deserve a punch in the undies.  Just saying, there is NOTHING WORSE than opening a pack of salted peanuts and finding a serious lack of salt.  It’s like they don’t even CARE.

People who spell definitely incorrectly:  I know, at times, I completely butcher the English language.  But seriously WTF people?  There is NO ‘A’ IN DIFINITELY.  It’s not rocket surgery aresholes.

Restaurants who do not have eggs benedict on their breakfast menu:  This should be illegal.  Enough said.

Companies/Bands that don’t respond to my letters:  Like Cadbury, McDonalds and Stephen Lynch.  You are both off my Christmas List.  Okay, so I don’t have a Christmas list but if I did you wouldn’t be on it anymore.  That will teach them to mess with ME.

People who write really long lists of stuff that are not at all entertaining: Which is why I am going to stop now.  I could go on with this forever.  You all know it.  I am truly surprised that you are even still reading.

I asked Twitter what puts them in the #FeelingStabby mood, here are a few of the responses:

@DaWhelp: @JellyWrestler having to answer the phone 8+ times cause my flatmates are all out and they haven’t tried thier mobiles. #FeelingStabby 

@Edak81: @JellyWrestler when fixing someones puter which ends up nearly killing mine, that makes be #Stabby

@Stefan MK1: @JellyWrestler This morning I was #FeelingVeryStabby because the coffee shop was closed for Easter.

@Emjaystar: @JellyWrestler drivers that don’t indicate, hypocrites, bad tv reception, aircon that doesn’t work properly, unable to find carpark, off milk

@Fissionxuiptz: @JellyWrestler people who sit in the overtaking lane, not overtaking 😡

@Webboy42: @JellyWrestler Arse holes who try to say wtf I can do and who I can love. #FeelingStabby

In related #FeelingStabby news:  My dear friend @DaWhelp has been slaving away, making an iPhone Application for those of us who feel the need to diffuse our stabby tendencies.

After many hours working under the whip (ask him, he might even show you the scars) he has FINALLY finished it and it will soon be available for purchase – Stay tuned for more information!

In the meantime, what makes YOU feel stabby?

It’s my birthday tomorrow, so excuse me if I am feeling stabby.

Yep.  It’s my birthday tomorrow.  I am going to be 28.

When asked what I am doing I’ll say “not much” or “just having a quiet one this year”.  I’ll be vague and smile and pretend I’m excited, when really I just can’t wait for it to be over.

Truth is, I’m not good at birthdays.

The last really happy birthday I can remember having was when I was 16.  A wonderful party, at my family home, with all my friends and family.  I can still remember having a few drinks, and standing in a swaying circle of people who loved me while my Dad sang “You’re 16, your beautiful, and you’re mine”.  Then, I snuck away and played tonsil hockey with my crush on the backseat of the school bus.  Good times.

Since then, my birthdays have been a disappointment.  Some highlights (is that what you call them?  If they aren’t good are they really “high” lights? Or are they lowlights?  I am confused):

My 18th – I had just been disowned by my mother and so spent it with my boyfriend – who got kicked out of every club we went to because he “couldn’t be bothered” adhering to the dress code. 

My 19th – The only person who remembered that day was my best friend and her family.  God bless them.  It made the fact that my then partner (who I lived with) had completely forgotten hurt just a little less.  When he remembered a week later he DID buy me a gift… stress balls.  Asshole.

My 22nd – I was told we were having a birthday lunch with all my friends and family.  5 people turned up, apparently no-one got the invitation – Of course I had no idea until I talked to everyone later.  At time time I just assumed that everyone knew and no-one had bothered.

While I was married, I was the one bringing home most of the money.  So, if room in our budget allowed it we did something I wanted to do.  Most of the time it was “Oh, but we just got that {insert latest gadget} we can’t really afford it”.  There was no real romance there.  No breakfast in bed… No well thought out gifts that made me feel truly appreciated. 

I’ve never been spoilt, been made special.  My birthday has never been a day I’ve looked back on and thought “It couldn’t get any better”.

Maybe this year will be different.  I am going to try to wake up tomorrow and remember it’s MY day, and do what I want. 

I will spend time with the people I care about and be thankful that this year, at least, I don’t HAVE a partner to provide me another disappointment.  Oh, and I will have cake at work.  I like cake.

I WILL try to enjoy my day.

But if I am feeling a little stabby, please excuse me.  At least you know why.

51 things about me

So, I was thinking of a way I could tell you all a little more about myself, without rambling TOO much and having you fall asleep at your keyboards.  And so, the “Things about me” list was born.  I’m lazy.  Keep up.

I managed to get to 51, though I probably cheated.  Whatever.  Enjoy!

  1. I quit smoking about a month ago.  I’ve lost count because I don’t smoke anymore.  While I was quitting, however, I was often feeling stabby and throwing 5 year old tantrums.  Thankfully, I live alone.
  2. I once painted a house.  Like, the whole outside of the house. 
  3. Sometimes I can be quite flaky.
  4. Even though I am sometimes flaky, I am excellent in an emergency.  If there is going to be a zombie invasion I am definately a good person to have around until they start chasing us and I trip you.  Stick with me.
  5. I can juggle.  Not a schedule, books, or boyfriends.  ACTUALLY Juggle.
  6. I have a love hate relationship with my unicycle, but I will eventually learn to ride it without doing bodily harm.
  7. This may be obvious,  but as a child I wanted to run away and join the circus.  Amongst a billion other things.
  8. I have a boat.  I always wanted a boat.  Now, if I can just find a set of drums my childhood dreams could be complete….
  9. When I was 20 and I fell pregnant and then had a complicated miscarriage.  The doctors at the time told me I probably wouldn’t be able to have children – So I’ve always told everyone else, and myself, that I don’t want kids when the truth is I think I would love a family and am too scared to admit it.
  10. I HATE people who pretend to be something they aren’t.  Especially when chatting online.  This is not just strong dislike people, this is HATE.
  11. I don’t really like mushrooms, but I will eat them if they are in something else.  I’d prefer not too though.
  12. I am a coffee whore.  I love coffee, I live for coffee, coffee is my life blood.  That is all.
  13. I don’t think whore is necessarily a BAD word if used in relation to coffee.  But if you call me a whore I might hurt you.  It’s okay for me to do it, not you.  Understand?
  14. My coffee addiction tried competing with my chocolate addiction, however after an epic battle of wits and strength they agreed to be friends and are currently residing in the form of chocolate covered coffee beans.
  15. I am 28 years old on Tuesday.
  16. I love the internet.  I love my internet friends.  I think we are all forging a fantastic new path for future generations to communicate, make friends, and network with people all over the world.
  17. I ❤ Twitter #AndIReallyReallyReallyLoveHashtags.  It’s always great to have more friends, and I find Twitter is a great place to find them.
  18. I love cooking.  And baking.  It’s actually quite scary how domesticated I can be.  Shhhh… Don’t tell anyone.
  19. I support Collingwood in the AFL. GO PIES!
  20. My dog is nearly 5 years old and he is a mastiff cross.  His name is Jake.  He is awesome.
  21. I used to ride horses, and at 15 was winning events at a national level.
  22. I don’t ride anymore, though I’d love to – maybe one day when I have the kids I say I don’t want.
  23. I love computers and technology yet I don’t even have my own computer.
  24. Storms are awesome, and there is nothing better than watching the lighting and listening the the thunder with someone you are close to.
  25. I play really awesome Guitar Hero.  But I have no actual musical talent at all.
  26. I need more shoes.  Unfortunately, I have expensive taste.
  27. My relationships have always been quite unromantic, and although I used to pretend I was okay with that the truth is I am a romantic at heart.  Again with the Shhh ok?
  28. I love the place I work and the people I work with, although I don’t love the job I am doing.  It is, however, the best place for me to be while I work out what I really want to do, and I am happy with that.
  29. Sometimes, I got to bed without taking off my make-up after a night out because I am too tired.
  30. I shaved my head once.  With a razor and everything, smooth.  It was to raise money for a charity so that made it ok.  Also, I had a bet on with my boss that she’d shave hers too if I raised over $5000.  I did.  I was a fantastic experience.
  31. I have a lot of trouble accepting help from other people, but I am learning that it’s ok to do that sometimes.
  32. I don’t like seafood.  Except some fish.  And prawns, sometimes.  Okay, I guess I like SOME seafood.
  33. I can’t sing.  Not in the “my ears are bleeding” kind of way.  Just in the “I’ll never be famous” kind of way.
  34. I enjoy fishing – and I can even bait my own hook.  I COULD clean the fish too, but really, I’d prefer not to.
  35. When I was about 21 I was so thin that I broke into our house (at the time) by having my housemate post me through the security bars on the windows like a letter.
  36. I suffer from insomnia, sporadically. 
  37. I really like the word sporadically.
  38. I was married, and separated from my husband last year.  It’s been difficult, but I know more about myself than I ever did, and I am kind of enjoying the self-discovery phase I am in.
  39. When I left high school I wanted to be a vet, and I studied a year a half of Applied Science at University.  Found it wasn’t for me, and spent too much time in the Arts faculty attending classes I wasn’t signed up for *cough* like Philosophy.  I left.
  40. I have already eaten an entire family block of chocolate while writing this.
  41. I used to be a Functions Manager and so know what it’s like to work 60 hour weeks.  I cherish my weekends.  Don’t ever fuck with them.
  42. Sometimes I swear.
  43. I am very non-judgemental, and a great listener.
  44. When I was 16 I was involved in a motorbike accident and I haven’t been on one since.
  45. I love sailing, although I haven’t done it in a really long time.
  46. Sometimes I think I am ready to start dating again.
  47. Sometimes I think I might not ever want a relationship again.
  48. I tend to contradict myself sometimes.
  49. I have an odd sense of humour, which I tend to tone down when around people who don’t know me very well.  Which is probably for the best.
  50. I’d really like to learn how to surf.   Preferably under the guidance of a really good looking male experienced instructor.
  51. I like to think I am a little be different, just like everyone else.

I think there’s something we can all learn from this – Lists are not my strong point!