How Facebook made me sniff glue. Not really though.

I don’t go to Facebook very often.  Frankly because I get sick of seeing whose child has been recently toilet trained, or who has given who a plant/animal/sexually transmitted disease on those silly games they play.

But today while scrolling through the announcements of impending doom marriages, new engagements, pregnancies, job promotions and bowel movements I came to a rather harsh realization.

It seems while everyone else my age is falling in love, getting married and having babies I’ve been busy having abortions, getting divorced and making plans to go back to University.

<<<<<<CRASH BANG TINKLE>>>>>>

Did you hear that?  Yep.  That’s was my emotional train de-railing.  The tinkle part was the shattering of my childhood dreams.

I realise it’s alright to be a wreck sometimes.  That it’s not THE END OF THE WORLD I’m fast approaching 30 and none of my dreams have yet been realized.  Lately, however, I seem to have lost all my strength and every single damn day is a struggle.

In this moment as I sit here wrapped up in my flaws and failings, safe in this uncomfortable but familiar bed I have made for myself I know I have two choices.

I can wish upon a star and just hope things work out for me.  Or I can change my attitude, and change my life.

So if you’ll excuse me I’m going to get out the dustpan and brush, pick up the pieces of my broken dreams and try to put them back together with cloth tape and superglue.  I won’t even sniff the glue.  Promise.

Then I’m going to put one foot in front of the other and keep fighting to make my dreams come true – or die trying.  Hopefully not in a train wreck though, because that would be kind of fucked up.

On a side note, the ‘i’ key has fallen off my keyboard and I’ve lost it.  After thoughtful consideration about writing this post completely without i’s and figuring that would make me look drunk be very hard to read I persevered.  You’re WELCOME.

 

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7 responses to “How Facebook made me sniff glue. Not really though.

  • Veronica

    Duct tape is WAY better for broken dreams. That shit holds everything together.

    xx

  • Steve

    Jesus, if that’s you being a failure, I better suicide right about now.

    34, working a minimum wage job, only just gone back to uni after dropping out the first time around, never even been married to get divorced (in the years since I turned 18 my total time spent in relationship is less than 2 years), will no doubt never have children. Hell, at 34 I only just got my driving licence.

  • Sandra

    I’m glad you took out the dustpan. But I’d like to share my personal philosophy with you (you’re welcome!) You can live to be 100! You have plenty of time to get things the way you want them. Don’t be so hard on yourself. The fact that you even have dreams is a step above most everyone i know. I give you so much credit for not wallowing…you weren’t wallowing, right?

  • Tracey - JustAnotherMommyBlog

    Shoot, you can be excited that you figured out the marriage should end before you were 30! Most people hang onto their marriages way longer than they should. Also remember: there isn’t any finish line or Major Award in Life. The only (aside from maybe our mothers…) person “keeping score” on our lives is the one living it. Everyone else has their own crap to deal with!

  • Helen

    I agree with you about FB. If one more of my so called friends becomes pregnant I may scream. And those are just my high school mates. I went to college with over achievers (one is working in the white house, another is an academy award winner). My crowning achievement is a job I despise and two puppies that I adore. But you know what? Except for the job part, I’m pretty damn happy and that’s all that really matters!

  • sugarmouse

    you’re HILARIOUS!

    and i hate facebook. it’s über depressing. i gave it up. but now i just look bitter and outdated, BAH. who cares.

    with you all the way for making them dreams come true or die trying. good luck! 😉

  • carolavan

    ahahahahahha!!!
    first time here!!

    Good luck with your dreams!!!!

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