You know when you leave your blog for some time without updating it… Then you attempt to carry on with it but you just can’t find a logical way to follow on from your last post?
I’m there. My blog has been sitting, neglected, like a <insert humorous simile here>.
Now I come to update you all on the intricate, wet, raffia-like threads that weave the underwater basket of my life, and I find myself not knowing where to start.
So why not start where I left off? You can find my last post here. If you’re too lazy to click on that let me sum it up. I found out I was pregnant, and had just booked in to have the pregnancy terminated.
In the end I did go through with the abortion. So I am now un-pregnant. The clinic I went to had wonderful compassionate staff, and my best friend came with me for support. In quiet reflection on the way home from what was the most difficult day of my life, I realised I had made the right choice, for ME. I held onto that thought in the weeks that followed, despite sometimes feeling emotionally unstable, empty and exhausted, having faith that I would heal with time.
I still have my moments where I wonder what it would have been like if I’d continued with the pregnancy, and I know New Years will be a very difficult time for me. I know I’ll be thinking ‘what if’. But I will deal with that when the time comes. Or repress it. One of those two things.
Thank you all for sharing your views and comments – and most of all thank you to those who showed me nothing but love and support, without judgement. It’s amazing how kind words from people I’ve never met can really make a difference. You all rock.
In further news, I’m on the ‘quit smoking’ bandwagon (again), have started an exercise routine, and I’ve applied to two different Universities to study next year. More on that next time!