*THIS POST IS NSFW. ACTUALLY, I WOULD SUGGEST YOU DON’T SCROLL DOWN.*
It was a beautiful morning, and I was sitting on my front verandah with my smokes breakfast and some vodka freshly brewed coffee.
As usual, I open my e-mail, twitter, and facebook and see what’s new with the online world.
That’s when it happened. Random Penis. ON MY EMAIL.
I joined a social/dating site a few of my friends were on, and the photo sent to me from someone who wants to ‘be my friend’. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!?
I have also had about 10 emails in broken English, and 4 one line messages asking if I want sex. Still no real people. Maybe I need to change my profile picture?
So, as I am currently quite drunk and it’s about 2am, I thought I would post a photo of said penis in the hopes that someone will recognise it. I’d really like to return it as soon as possible. I’m just not that kind of girl.
I’m the kind of girl who has a blog, and isn’t afraid to use it.
Ps. If you have nothing better to do, follow me on twitter here.
Pps. I am really really really drunk and I wanted to say thank you to all you people who are making me feel the online bloggy kind of love. You know who you are. I love you guys.
Pps. You really shouldn’t join twitter. It’s distracting. I spent 45 minutes looking up what temperature to preheat the oven to for my cupcakes because I kept checking twitter first, then going back to the kitchen and remembering I STILL hadn’t looked it up.
Ppps. Did I warn you at the start of this post that I was drunk? I probably should have. Last night I was also drunk, and came home wearing only one sock, but both my boots. It’s okay though, I didn’t wear socks tonight. I learn from my mistakes.