Monthly Archives: May 2009

One little thing – From awful to awesome

Things that went wrong today:

  • Woke up sick, sore throat, snotty nose – hope it’s not swine flu!
  • Late for work – no coffee (this should be illegal)
  • Email from the adminosphere, can anyone say office politics?
  • Printer dies
  • Server  shuts down for no reason
  • Fax starts screaming
  • MYOB crashes
  • A spider stalks and attacks me

Things that went right today:

  • My test results came back clear

It’s amazing, how one phone call can change your day from awful to awesome in the space of a heartbeat.

Have you ever had on of those days?


I just found the light at the end of the tunnel!

No matter how shitty the path, remember - there's always a light at the end of the tunnel

No matter how shitty the path, remember…
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel!

My house is clean, the dog is washed, and now I am baking. No, I don’t know what’s wrong with me either.

Usually I am not very domesticated.  However, when I am emotionally unstable  bored, I tend to go into super house bitch mode.

This time, aside from the general cleaning and cooking and what not, I am baking too.  And I haven’t actually burnt anything down yet.  I know, I’m surprised too.

A big thank you to Alyssa over at ‘My life in a blog’, who through Twitter helped me bake the most AWESOME brownies EVER in the WHOLE WORLD.  Argue with me, go on.  I dare you. 

Yeah, I though so.

Anyway, I am currently sitting in an ultra clean house, bakin’ double choc biscuits and wondering exactly what is going to happen when I run out of baking supplies.

biscuit

Anyone have good suggestions for my next cooking adventure?

* UPDATE – My biscuits are also AWESOME and not at all burnt and the one I dropped on the floor still tasted just as good because I picked it up within 6 seconds and everyone knows that that’s the rule right?


WINNER: Least likely to become an endangered species.

image003

If you laughed out loud, I already love you. 


I NEED my 30g, GIVE IT BACK! (This post is not about drugs)

 

CadburyDear Cadbury,

RE: GIVE ME BACK MY 30g!

 

Hi, I am sure you recognise my name –  And no, the restraining order DIDN’T say I couldn’t blog about this, they just didn’t want me calling your offices 54 times a day anymore.  And that thing about stalking, I guess.  But  I digress.

 

Now listen, all I am trying to do is kindly point out that there are some genuine flaws in the new packaging for for family block chocolate.  Since you won’t take my calls, and I doubt you read the note I wrapped around the brick I “delivered” to your office yesterday, I thought I would point a few things out here.

Oh yes, here come the dot points.

  • Firstly, there is the undeniable fact that I NEED that extra 30g.  I know you probably don’t understand, I mean, you are surrounded by chocolate right?  Get it at any time of day or night?  Yeah, well for those of us out here in the  real world chocolate is like heroin.  And if I don’t get my fix I get ANGRY. 
  • Speaking of drugs.  The new cardboard packaging is nice, but seriously, are you trying to encourage drug trade?  That cardboard is excellent camouflage for drug deals… “Here, I got you your chocolate, that’ll be $”.  I mean really, you didn’t think of that?  Shame on you.
  • Also, the cardboard is also a FAR greater fire hazard than the paper.  I checked, it’s definitely more flammable.  Also, people are going to want to set fire to something when they find out they are missing that 30g.
  • New packaging.  Easier to put it away and save it for later.  People are going to eat less chocolate.  Smart marketing plan?  I think not.  Just sayin’.

And before you ask, no, I don’t care about the money – does it cost less?  I didn’t notice – nor do I care.  I’ll pay.  I just don’t want to be shortchanged on my chocolate.

I have purchased the remaining family blocks from my local store, and have around half a carton.  I really think the only way to amend this is to change the packaging back as soon as possible and publicly apologise for disappointing us all.

Oh, and send me free chocolate.

Thanks,

Jelly.


It all fits. I think Al from ‘my life in a blog’ might actually know more than Google.

Tonight has been entertaining – I am not sure what’s going on, but a couple of hours ago about 6 police cars pulled up and “visited” my neighbours.

I *of course* was on-line, and reading this post over at ‘my life in a blog’, where Al claimed to know more than Google.  So I was all like, she’ll know what’s going on, I’ll ask.

You can read Al’s timely and almost pychic explanation here.  Go on now, read it.

I’m impressed, because you know, it really all fits… here, I’ll break it down for you.

AL’S THEORY: Nudist Neighbours staging a protest to encourage free lovin’.

EVIDENCE: Remember when the pictures of naked women were plastered through the neighbourhood?  Then there’s the consistently hanging washing in robes and towel’s (underwear too, but it’s so traumatic I just can’t talk about it).  They are definately pro-nudity.

AL’S THEORY: Pot smokin hippie’s

EVIDENCE: Yes, just YES OK? If the smell wasn’t enough, the crazy lady leaving the house next door screaming “TURN THOSE FUCKING LIGHTS OFF, EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT YOU’RE GROWING UNDER THERE!” definately convinced me. 

AL’S THEORY: Police watching the neighbours.

EVIDENCE: So, I have worked at a few law firms and such, and accordingly know quite a few police officers.  So when the unmarked police car sits out the front of MY HOUSE, watching the neighbours, I generally say hi and offer them a coffee.  Yeah. 

AL’S THEORY: UFO guy across the street.

EVIDENCE: Repetitive playing of ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart‘.  Everyone knows aliens love Bonnie Tyler right?

So, in closing, upon Al’s suggestion, I am off to lock the doors and windows, grab a roll of aluminium foil and the vodka, and stay home tonight.

In the meantime, go visit Al here.


Dear McDonalds, If you take pickles off a cheesburger, you can’t call it “Deluxe” even if you add other stuff.

I just sent the following email to McDonald’s via their website, thought I would share it with you…

chz

Dear Ronald McDonald,

I usually have something from McDonald’s at least once a week.  But just because the only time I eat your food I am really really intoxicated and it’s 3am in the morning, does not mean I didn’t notice the distinct lack of pickles on my Cheeseburger Deluxe.

Now listen Ronald, it’s not that I am fussy.  Really.  I don’t even LIKE pickles.  But calling this new pickle-less burger a Cheeseburger Deluxe is JUST NOT ON. 

I know you added lettuce.  You also added some kind of mayonnaise.  And that’s fine.  But why, Ronald?  Why take the pickles?  Did you think we wouldn’t notice? It is just because you are sick of people throwing them on the front windows of your stores?

In short, if you’d have told me there weren’t going to be pickles, I wouldn’t have been expecting them, and would not have been dissapointed.   It’s all about customer expectation right?

Ronald, I cannot stress this point strongly enough – A cheeseburger is NOT a cheeseburger without pickles, therefore a Deluxe Cheeseburger cannot be any kind of cheeseburger either.  I hope you appreciate me bringing this to your attention.

Jelly.

PS.  I never did get a response from to the email I sent to Stephen Lynch…  I have crossed him off my Christmas list.