If I ever have a baby, I want the father to be Jesus

Not literally Jesus, as in the son of god, obviously.  Just someone who’s name is Jesus.  And not that I am intending on having any children, even at the ripe age of 27 my biological clock is FAR from ticking.

It just randomly enetered my head, that  it would be GREAT VALUE walking around carrying Jesus’s baby – oh the fun I could have!

I had a great conversation with an equally random friend of mine when I mentioned it to her…

HER:  So, how you been?

ME:    Great – got my lawn done.  Oh, and I decided that if i have a baby, I want the father to be Jesus

HER: Am guessing you don’t mean the son-of-god Jesus?  Because you know he’s dead right?

ME:  Sure, just any guy called Jesus will do.

HER: Oh!  Then you could be all like, hey, I am carrying Jesus’s baby, out my way Biartch!

ME:   Exactly… and when he is born, we could call him Jesus Jnr.

HER: Okay, so I guess you have a passport right?  First stop Mexico!

ME:  No, I will have to get a passport… Actually, why don’t you just get pregnant and call YOUR baby Jesus?

HER:  Great idea!  Then I could be carrying Jesus himself!

ME:  And I could be his god mother.  Imagine, Jesus’s godmother.  Of course, I’d want to be a fairy godmother…

HER:  Of course, I will even get you a costume.  And swear not to let the men in white suits take you away.

ME:  I love you.

I really love it when my friends understand me.  It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside… Or maybe that’s just the medication.


3 responses to “If I ever have a baby, I want the father to be Jesus

  • Jules

    1. Hubby used to look like Jesus. Well, the American version of what Jesus looks like – you know the Irish guy.

    2. My sister wants to have Hispanic babies because they are so fucking cute. Of course she is blonde. Perhaps she could also have them with someone named Jesus. We’ve discussed this also.

    • Jelly

      Awesome. Looking like Jesus would have been an added bonus.

      Your sister is right, hispanic babies are so fucking sweet they make my teeth hurt. And I don’t have a health care plan, so I can’t afford that. Fuck.

  • Singing_fairy

    Just discussed with the bf the idea of naming our first born jesus and unfortunately he is slightly disinclined but still i think it will make a great nick name.

    Ps love you to

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