Monthly Archives: March 2009

Twitter is addictive. It’s like niccotine, but they don’t have patches. Well, not yet.

This has to be one of my favourite tweets so far – brought to me by Featured Tweets  on my new favourite addiction, Twitter – a new (or you know, not so new, I just can’ t keep up) social media site focusing on purely updates (and if you haven’t heard of Twitter, I don’t know, google it or something)

I know right?  Why would someone like Featured Tweets be doing following boring old me? All I am doing is sitting in the corner talking to myself (yeah, you probably weren’t thinking that at all… *sigh*)

I first thought, well, they must be following everyone who joins Twitter – I had just joined, and since none of my friends actually use it, I WAS pretty much twittering to myself!  Okay, there was no pretty much about it.  Here’s a sample…

my 6 year old niece just said to her brother “Stop eating all the apples. They don’t grow on tree’s you know”. I couldn’t talk for 3 mins.

from web

fuck. tree’s isn’t supposed to have an apostophe there is it? My bad grammer is forever immortalised by Twitter *sigh*

from web

and my spelling apparently.

from web


Having quite some fun, as you can see.  It was shortly after I noticed someone was following me.  I was shocked and amazed.  Then, I will admit, a little disappointed when I saw is was Featured Tweets, thinking they must just follow EVERYONE, what’s special about that?  Then I got this message…

Featured Tweets       FeaturedTweets“Thankfully I have no-one following me to notice. Shit. I am talking to myself.” – we noticed :P. have a nice day!

  *sigh* someone is always watching when you fuck up.  I love you Internet!

I blame The Bloggess for my new addiction – it was this post she wrote which made me laugh so hard I snorted.  A lot.  At work.  And yes, people saw.  And just this morning, I noticed she was following me too.  She says she’s not discriminatory – But you know, it still makes me all warm and fuzzy, in that “I just peed in my pants” kind of way.

So, no doubt there will be more Twitter Action to come!  Oh look, a piece of string…

PS.  Twitter – You really SHOULD invent some patches… not only would it be a great marketing tool, but you could send me a whole heap because I am going to NEED them.

PPS.  You can follow me by clicking here.

PPPS. You can follow Featured Tweets, because they are awesome, here.


Toddler Money Box – Quick! To the Airport!

I got the x-ray via email at work today.  Fucking.  Awesome.  If you are confused, read yesterdays post first.  ALL they way to the end.  Ok, you with me now?

For your viewing pleasure…

Elise, the human money box

Elise, the human money box

I really really really want to take her to the airport to see if she sets off the scanners – I called my friend and asked if  I could take her, but said she has had enough crazy people touching her in the last few days, and quickly hung up the phone.

I bet she’s glad she has a friend like me.

Stating the Obvious Saturday.

A new theme, which I was going to do regularly, is Stating the Obvious Saturday

It starts Saturday.  When I will be stating the obvious. Obviously….

Shit, I guess it starts now.

In unrelated news, my friend’s little girl decided to turn herself into a human money box today – what is it with kids and putting money in their mouth?!?

A trip to the emergency department and many x-rays later, the coin passed into her stomach, so she didn’t have to go to theatre.  Phew. 

Guess who has to go hunting for money in toddler poo for the next few days?  That HAS to be the worlds worst treasure hunt…

I have already asked for the x-rays – they would have to look fucking awesome right?  Will post them as soon as I can, for your viewing pleasure.

Thanks for the exercise, Vodafone.

They told me the reception wasn’t great, but the call rates were cheap.  And I am cheap.

They were right.  The reception SUCKS.  It sucks giant hairy rat balls in fact.

So, each day while I am at work, I climb to the top of this Silo to send and receive text messages (yes, I shouldn’t be doing that at work, that’s what Twitter is for right?)

This object appears smaller than it actually is... I swear!

This object appears smaller than it actually is... I swear!

So, thank you Vodafone, for my daily exercise, my legs have never felt better.  Or hurt more.  Hurting means you’re exercising right?!?

At least I get to enjoy the view while I am there.  No bad, huh? 

I am sure I would appreciate the view more, if my legs didn't hurt. like. hell.

View from Silo at zero dark thirty

I am sure I would appreciate it more.  If my legs didnt hurt like a bitch.

PS.  I can’t spell – I just published this post with “exercise” spelt “excersise”.  Then I got home, and realised I am a giant spastic head.  Nice.  Hope you didn’t see that.

Teething Rings & Cock Rings – Can YOU tell the difference? Huh?

I was visiting a friend after work, and I noticed something that looked like this:


Random rubber gel thingy

Random rubber gel thingy

 My immediate thought? Oh my god, that is TOTALLY a cock ring.  On their front verandah.  Scary. 

My second thought? Oh, it must be a teething ring!  Of course!  That makes much more sense.  I mean, they DO have a 18 month old son.  Get your mind out of the gutter.

My third thought?  I wonder how you tell the difference?  That SO looks like a cock ring to me…

The of course, I came home to my dear friend google for an image search for cock rings, to see if they do look similar, or if it’s just my warped mind playing tricks on me.

And here is what I found…

Tell me they don’t look like teething rings to you!

Cock Rings

Cock Rings

And yes, I am VERY sorry I bought this to your attention.  Really.  You didn’t need to know.

Just in case you were confused – Here are some pretty pictures.

Here is a picture of Hamish:

Tropical Cyclone Hamish - Radar Image

Tropical Cyclone Hamish - Radar Image


And here is where Hamish is headed…

Cyclone Hamish - Tracking Map

Cyclone Hamish - Tracking Map

And here are some sandwiches, you know, like the ones I am making *cough*

*No sandwiches were harmed during the making of this post

*No sandwiches were harmed during the making of this post

Cyclone Watch – Hamish is coming, should I make sandwiches?

So we have been put on alert.

Tropical Cyclone Hamish is travelling down the east coast of Australia, and should be here in 24 – 48 hours.

I saw a line a mile long at the petrol station, and the supermarket, people buying fuel and batteries, and I got to thinking – should I be more concerned?  Have I lived here TOO long?  Or do I just not give a crap?

You see, I am not worried.  We have had cyclone warnings before.  They have never made me jump out of my skin and go running for emergency supplies.  Generally, they start off all mighty and ferocious, and once they get here they are nothing more than a mild storm.  I like storms, as long as they aren’t ripping the roof of your house.

Weird, as I am writing this the wind is starting to pick up *sigh*

Guess I’d better go secure any wanna be projectiles…

24 to 48 hours they say – we shall see!